~Ling~

What you see on the surface may not always seem to be,
The pain and anguish lies within, none is able to see.
I cried foul so many times in this relationship,
Only to realise in this love gamble, I ran out of chips.

Although now, we are of no relation to each other,
The things you do would still hurt me, one way or another.
I cannot blame you for hurting me, I know,
Just that I cannot control myself, I love you so.

Was it necessary for you to cut off all contacts with me?
Or is it just a way to forget me, to able to set yourself free?
Since the last day I saw you, you have never left my mind at all,
Just like the memories in me, and that picture of yours hanging on my bedroom wall.

The only way I could get into contact with you is through words,
And hopefully these will express my painful and deepest secrets.
When you told me you got back with him and had your fate sealed,
I was filled with jealousy but yet a little happy for you.

The sleepless nights I have spent clubbing or rolling in bed,
The things you did and said flooded my entire head.
I know we have a lot of differences, but I can’t control myself from saying no,
Cause now that I found you, how can I let you go?

I miss your love, your hugs, your kisses, times when we fornicate our love,
If I had another chance, I’ll make sure you will get more than what you deserve.
I miss your whispers of gentle love, that demure, loving side of yours,
I really hope you consider the love of ours, and not make decisions by force.

At first, I was surprised and taken aback by your strong will and determination,
After you left, I regretted because I realised your love was so pure and unconditioned.
Everything in life seems to be against us being together,
But if I were to leave now, my heart would be in pieces for forever.

I am grateful you still call me and we could talk for three long hours,
I’m very glad we still attract each other, like the bees to the flowers.
I was on top of the world when you said you still love me ling,
And I replied to you from the bottom of my heart, I love you too, darling.

I realise we always give out ambiguous signals to each other, thus causing confusions,
The both of us are too strong headed at things we excel at, in this case, love relations.
But I am ever willing to give out everything jus for the sake of my love life,
Cause I know if I don’t salvage this love of mine, I’ll regret for my whole life….

Josh.