~Love… Great If It Was Genuine~

"I will not get married till the age of 30 jus for you."

"Don’t worry, you’re going to see me forever."

"You don’t have to change, I had already accepted you for what you are."

Do women always break promises they make? Do they always make the correct statements depending on the current situations just to make the male gender happy? Or is it just that forgetfulness always gets to them in time to come? For example, the three statements listed above were factual. They were made by an ex-girlfriend of mine, whom our relationship lasted a mere six months. Although the time together was relatively short, the love between the two of us was overwhelming, steamy and fast progressing. After all, these statements still occasionally flash through my head.

I was twenty then, she twenty-three. It was refreshing to be able to be with an older woman whom you loved, and loved you back. Even though I was the youthful, hot-blooded male that needed much attention and love from my girlfriend, she was able to cater to my every need, even though she was the matured and mellowed-down kind of woman with an occasional stint of childish relapse.

Perhaps the relapses were to catch my attention? No way…more like she was trying to get her way in situations. The relationship proved itself to be very fast progressing. And six months after we got together, the relationship ended. She wanted out. For certain reasons which I did not understand at that point of my life. And I really felt like dying. Because I did not understand anything at all!

It happened more than two years ago, back in the earlier portion of 2003. Now, when I think back, I realised a lot of my then-shortcomings. I was really handling my past relationship problems with a tag of immaturity. A lot of question marks that once materialised above my head now seem to vanish almost naturally. Questions like: "Why did she do it?" And: "How come it had to end this way?" Now, it would be like: "Oh I see…"

Reasons that were deemed excuses now fitted the bill of actually being logical reasons. And after much thinking, I feel kind of stupid. Actually, It is a feeling brought about by my previous actions to rekindle whatever love there was left. I should have wised up, pick whatever’s left, and move on. But at that point of time, I could not. It was the greatest love I ever felt for someone in my entire life. Even till now.

As quoted from the movie, ‘Moulin Rouge’:

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return"

Thank you Lord, for allowing me to learn the greatest thing, most immensely in this relationship. If given a chance, I would turn back the hands of time and meticulously work my way up to a perfect relationship. But that is not to be. For the seemly perfect woman in my life is now happily married. She sworn to break the vows of celibacy with the chosen one, which happens to be someone else. Thinking about it right now, the sadness had just begun to set in, although now it is still in the form of pity.

Fret I shall not! For every person in this world will eventually get what deserve. And I know I deserve better than before. This is not some self-deceiving stint, but I know deep down I will experience the learning of the greatest thing again. In the near future, I hope. Be like me everybody! Don’t stick yourself to the past, where you somewhat know that history wouldn’t be walking towards the future. Wise up, lift yourself up and move on. Wake up every other day, inhale the essence of life and live the day to its fullest. After all, one of the greatest love you would ever get is from yourself. Not telling you to log on to www.BeANarcissist.com [If this web site really existed], but…you get what I am driving at.

An article entitled: ‘Let go, Wise up and Just Walk Out’, I read from the Singapore TNP dated 28 August 2005, Miss Janice Wong was writing: "Have the courage to admit that your man does not love you. As much as singlehood sucks, being with an unloving man is worse." I totally agree with the statement above. And this applies to men too. She was explaining that girls would rather be in superficial, unfulfilling, even damaging relationships than face up to the fact that they are not Fiona Xie. An amusing way of expressing women’s feelings towards a relationship.

Men too cling onto bad relationships, but for slightly different reasons. We too would be in stagnant, unloving relationships, for the fact that there will always be someone by his side. Whenever setbacks occur, he would have a pillar to fall onto. There would also be someone for you to love, and have your feelings reciprocated. The feeling of being loved by someone, the fact of being wanted by someone.

Also, not forgetting the fact that there will always be that someone to have sex with. You bloody scallywag.

Not every living male creature is like this. At least not me. I am single, I am living life by the daily rise and set of the sun, and most importantly, I am happy. I have family and friends for me to shower my care on. And these feelings will reciprocate too, though in a different yet equally fulfilling way. So clear your heart and soul of all love-generated interference. If you at any point of time feel that he or she does not love you anymore, muster up the courage to walk out of it. To love and be loved in return, that is the greatest thing. If this is not happening in your relationship, then what is the point of carrying on? It’s not as if you’re going to get a long service award for maintaining a five-year relationship.

Snap out of it. Move on. Be a man. Be the man.